new joke

nihang ki biwi bra lene gayi
 boli sabse badey size kee bra de dow
: nihang bola tere mummey tow chhotey chotey hai bra badi maang rahi hai
 biwi boli tera lund bhi tow chhota saa hai par kachchha tu bada pahnta hai maine kabhi toka

joke 23

There once was three guys who didn't have any money. or any food.

They had been stealing food for the past couple of days and still wern't satiafied.

One guy finally said ,"Wouldn't it be better to ask for food instead of stealing it ?"

They all agreed so one day they went up to this house and rang the door bell . An old lady answered .

They asked her for food . She said she would only give them food if they slept with her .

The first guy refused and so did the second, but the third guy was so hungry that he agreed.

She took him into her barn and said to get started.

He said he wanted to blindfold her and she agreed because she was so desperate.

Once blindfolded he took a piece of corn and started fucking her with it. He threw that piece of corn out the barn window and took another piece of corn and started fucking her with that one.

Afterwards she fed him like she said she would and he left .

The two other guys told him they couldn't believe he had done that for food, especially since they had found free corn around the side of the barn.

joke 23

An elderly couple scheduled their annual medical examination the same day so they could travel together.

After the examination, the doctor then said to the elderly man "You appear to be in good health, do you have any medical concerns that you would like to discuss with me?"

"In fact I do," said the man, "After I have sex with my wife for the first time, I am usually hot and sweaty. And then,after I have sex with my wife the second time, I am usually cold and chilly."

"This is very interesting," replied the doctor, "Let me do some research and get back to you."

After examining the elderly lady, the doctor said: "Everything appears to be fine. Do you have any medical concerns that you would like to discuss with me?"

The lady replied that she had no questions nor concerns.

The doctor then asked: "Your husband had an unusual concern. He claims that he is usually hot and sweaty after having sex the first time with you and then cold and chilly after the second time. Do you know why?" "Oh that old coot!" She replied. "That's because the first time is usually in July, and the second time is usually in December!"

joke 22

A guy walks into a bar with an octopus. He sits the octopus down on a stool and tells everyone in the bar that this is a very talented octopus. He can play any musical instrument in the world. He hears everyone in the crowd laughing at him, calling him an idiot, etc. So he says that he will wager $50 to anyone who has an instrument that the octopus can't play.

A guy walks up with a guitar and sets it beside the octopus. The octopus starts playing better than Jimi Hendrix, just rippin' it up. So the man pays his $50. Another guy walks up with a trumpet. The octopus plays the trumpet better than Dizzie Gillespie. So the man pays his $50. Then a Scotsman walks up with bagpipes. He sits them down and the octopus fumbles with it for a minute and sits it down with a confused look.

"Ha!" the Scot says. "Can't you play it?"

The octopus looks up at him and says, "Play it? I'm going to screw it as soon as I figure out how to get its pajamas off."

joke 21

A guy walks into a bar with an octopus. He sits the octopus down on a stool and tells everyone in the bar that this is a very talented octopus. He can play any musical instrument in the world. He hears everyone in the crowd laughing at him, calling him an idiot, etc. So he says that he will wager $50 to anyone who has an instrument that the octopus can't play.

A guy walks up with a guitar and sets it beside the octopus. The octopus starts playing better than Jimi Hendrix, just rippin' it up. So the man pays his $50. Another guy walks up with a trumpet. The octopus plays the trumpet better than Dizzie Gillespie. So the man pays his $50. Then a Scotsman walks up with bagpipes. He sits them down and the octopus fumbles with it for a minute and sits it down with a confused look.

"Ha!" the Scot says. "Can't you play it?"

The octopus looks up at him and says, "Play it? I'm going to screw it as soon as I figure out how to get its pajamas off."

joke 21

A guy walks into a bar with an octopus. He sits the octopus down on a stool and tells everyone in the bar that this is a very talented octopus. He can play any musical instrument in the world. He hears everyone in the crowd laughing at him, calling him an idiot, etc. So he says that he will wager $50 to anyone who has an instrument that the octopus can't play.

A guy walks up with a guitar and sets it beside the octopus. The octopus starts playing better than Jimi Hendrix, just rippin' it up. So the man pays his $50. Another guy walks up with a trumpet. The octopus plays the trumpet better than Dizzie Gillespie. So the man pays his $50. Then a Scotsman walks up with bagpipes. He sits them down and the octopus fumbles with it for a minute and sits it down with a confused look.

"Ha!" the Scot says. "Can't you play it?"

The octopus looks up at him and says, "Play it? I'm going to screw it as soon as I figure out how to get its pajamas off."

joke 21

A guy walks into a bar with an octopus. He sits the octopus down on a stool and tells everyone in the bar that this is a very talented octopus. He can play any musical instrument in the world. He hears everyone in the crowd laughing at him, calling him an idiot, etc. So he says that he will wager $50 to anyone who has an instrument that the octopus can't play.

A guy walks up with a guitar and sets it beside the octopus. The octopus starts playing better than Jimi Hendrix, just rippin' it up. So the man pays his $50. Another guy walks up with a trumpet. The octopus plays the trumpet better than Dizzie Gillespie. So the man pays his $50. Then a Scotsman walks up with bagpipes. He sits them down and the octopus fumbles with it for a minute and sits it down with a confused look.

"Ha!" the Scot says. "Can't you play it?"

The octopus looks up at him and says, "Play it? I'm going to screw it as soon as I figure out how to get its pajamas off."

joke 21

A guy walks into a bar with an octopus. He sits the octopus down on a stool and tells everyone in the bar that this is a very talented octopus. He can play any musical instrument in the world. He hears everyone in the crowd laughing at him, calling him an idiot, etc. So he says that he will wager $50 to anyone who has an instrument that the octopus can't play.

A guy walks up with a guitar and sets it beside the octopus. The octopus starts playing better than Jimi Hendrix, just rippin' it up. So the man pays his $50. Another guy walks up with a trumpet. The octopus plays the trumpet better than Dizzie Gillespie. So the man pays his $50. Then a Scotsman walks up with bagpipes. He sits them down and the octopus fumbles with it for a minute and sits it down with a confused look.

"Ha!" the Scot says. "Can't you play it?"

The octopus looks up at him and says, "Play it? I'm going to screw it as soon as I figure out how to get its pajamas off."

joke 20

A nun walks into a bus and sits behind the driver and says, "I have just one regret before I die,"

The bus driver asks "What might that be?", she says "I have never had sex, but I can't have sex with a married man or that would be a sin."

The bus driver says, "I'm not married"

The nun says, "I have to die a virgin so I will have to take it in my ass".

Being the only two in the bus they went to the back and took care of business.

When they were done the bus driver says to the nun, "I have a confesion to make, I am married."

The nun says "I also have a confesion to make, My name is Tom and im going to a costume party!"

joke19

There was this lady and she really wanted to have sex, but she was to scared to ask her husband so she went to a jipsy and told her her problem.

The jipsy rummaged around in a chest and pulled out a pickle jar with a penis in it, and said "All you have to do is open the jar and say 'Pickle penis my vigina' and it will start having sex with you".

So later she tries out the pickle penis and it works great. That is until her husband walks in and he shouts "WHAT THE HELL IS THAT" and the woman says "It's a pickled penis"

Unfortunately her husband replied "PICKLE PENIS MY ASS"

joke19

There was this lady and she really wanted to have sex, but she was to scared to ask her husband so she went to a jipsy and told her her problem.

The jipsy rummaged around in a chest and pulled out a pickle jar with a penis in it, and said "All you have to do is open the jar and say 'Pickle penis my vigina' and it will start having sex with you".

So later she tries out the pickle penis and it works great. That is until her husband walks in and he shouts "WHAT THE HELL IS THAT" and the woman says "It's a pickled penis"

Unfortunately her husband replied "PICKLE PENIS MY ASS"

joke 18

There was this lady and she really wanted to have sex, but she was to scared to ask her husband so she went to a jipsy and told her her problem.

The jipsy rummaged around in a chest and pulled out a pickle jar with a penis in it, and said "All you have to do is open the jar and say 'Pickle penis my vigina' and it will start having sex with you".

So later she tries out the pickle penis and it works great. That is until her husband walks in and he shouts "WHAT THE HELL IS THAT" and the woman says "It's a pickled penis"

Unfortunately her husband replied "PICKLE PENIS MY ASS"

joke16

 ek  andhi ladki key boyfriend ney sex kiya. sex kartey huey usney nichey haath ghumaya aur uske haath mey ladke ke tattey aa gaye . wo boli inhe bhi tow daalo .ladka bola yeh andar nahi daaley jaatey .andhi boli sach bolna   dekhna andhi ka haq mat marna

joke 16

neta jee  officer sey milne uske office gaye
chamchon ko peon ney rok diya
chamchey  hum har jagah netajee ke saath rahtey hai
peon: abbey  tattey bhi lund ke saath hi rahtey hai par chodtey huey vey bhi bahaar hi rehtey hai

joke 15

सोनू : यार  कल  दस  लोगों ने मुझे मिल कर पीटा !

मोनू : तुमने क्या किया?

सोनू : मैंने कहा – अबे हिम्मत है तो एक-एक कर के आओ !

मोनू :  फिर ?

सोनू :  उन सब ने एक-एक कर के मुझे फिर पीटा …. !!!

joke 14

संता: अगर मैं नारियल के पेड़ पर चढ़ जाऊं तो इंजीनियरिंग कॉलेज की लड़कियां दिख जाएंगी ?

बंता:  हां, और चढ़ कर पेड़ छोड़ देना, तो फिर मेडिकल कॉलेज की भी दिख जाएंगी ….. !

joke 13

सार्वजनिक परिवहन सेवा की बसों पर आमतौर पर एक चेतावनी लिखी होती है -

“बैठने के पहले सीट के नीचे झांके. वहाँ कोई बम छुपा हो सकता है. शोर मचाएं और इनाम पायें.”

एक गर्ल्स-कॉलेज की कुछ शरारती लड़कियों ने इस चेतावनी को  परिवर्तित  कर अपनी कॉलेज-बस पर कुछ इस तरह लिखा -

“बैठने के पहले सीट के नीचे झांके. वहाँ कोई लड़का छुपा हो सकता है. शोर न मचाएं और लड़के को इनाम समझकर घर ले जाएँ.”

joke 12

सास (बहू से) – “बेटी, आज से तुम मुझे अपनी माँ और अपने ससुर को पिता ही समझना.”

तभी दरवाजे की घंटी बजी.  बहू ने दरवाजा खोला तो देखा कि उसका पति आया है.

सास – “कौन आया है बेटी ?”

बहू – “माँ, भैया ऑफिस से आ गए … !”

joke 11

why the dick is the dumbest organ
viveksingladent: 1.it doesnt have brain
viveksingladent: 2. its nearest neighbour is an asshole
viveksingladent: 3. it is always accompanied by two nuts

joke 11

why the dick is the dumbest organ
viveksingladent: 1.it doesnt have brain
viveksingladent: 2. its nearest neighbour is an asshole
viveksingladent: 3. it is always accompanied by two nuts

 salim anarkali se    aaj mujhey apni de dow
 anarkali jahn panah    aapne bahut badi cheez maang lee
 saleem  agar itni hi badi hai tow mujhey nahi chahiye

gay jokes

ek gay dusre ko   kya tum mujh se naraaz ho
viveksingladent: dusra nahi tumhe aisa kyun laga
viveksingladent: pehla   kal tum meri taraf muh karke soye they